No More Christian Nice Guy

Published By: Bethany House

Book Category: Non-Fiction, Religion

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Reviewed by Bob Pike CSP, CPAE-Speakers Hall of Fame

No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin is not for the faint of heart. Many may pass the book by because of its title. To do so would be a mistake. This book is for the millions of Christian men (and women) who know that their lives don't reflect the blessings that God has promised, who know that there is more to the Christian life than they've been experiencing--and who are seriously ready to hear what God is trying to say about who we are really supposed to be as Christians--especially as Christian men.

"Christian Nice Guy" (CNG)--even the phrase polarizes. Is it something you want to be, or something to be avoided like the plague? Coughlin has this to say: "Children are confused as to why their Christian father appears to be a strong and stable presence at church, always smiling and nodding, but then seems to physically and emotionally abandon them when they most obviously need protection and affection."

And. "A CNG husband has been enslaved to the notion that if his wife isn't happy--for whatever reason--then it's up to him to fix it."

And finally, "It is foolish and damaging not to require respect in a marriage relationship; respect is a fundamental building block of all healthy connection. Interpersonally, those who don't mandate respect are among the most unattractive people.

But Coughlin does not simply go on a rampage. He opens the scripture to constructive alternatives to the courses that we've been following for too long. In part he challenges us to examine the messages that men have been sent:

"Boys are stupid--throw rocks at them!" and "The Stupid Factory--where boys are made" were actually massages printed on t-shirts sold in over 3500 stores across the United States. The media said nothing, but what if the word "girl" were substituted for boy? The cries about abuse and abusive would be almost immediate.

Coughlin sums it up this way: "Man's heart has been crushed by hearing and believing that not only is he not necessary--he is fully disposable."

Armchair Interviews says: This book is about reclaiming biblical masculinity. It is about using love to drive out fear. It is about the journey from nice guy to good guy. We hope many will embark on the journey.

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